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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26175757">There is no such thing as time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaCacciatrice/pseuds/LaCacciatrice'>LaCacciatrice</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Death of Superman (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, DCAU, Grief/Mourning, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:09:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,849</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26175757</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaCacciatrice/pseuds/LaCacciatrice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Because when Hal wasn’t on Earth, Barry’s hand would reach to his left, touching the cold sheets like a reminder of the risks they were both taking. The haunting possibility of Hal’s permanent disappearance from his life. Today only made it more clear for both of them. </p>
<p>Or where Barry and Hal talk (and comfort each other) after their fight against Doomsday.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barry Allen/Hal Jordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>There is no such thing as time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't know what I was trying to write but this was definitely not it lol </p>
<p>English isn't my first language, self studying only gets you so far....</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Red gloved hands softly touched the shoulder pads of Green Lantern’s suit. It was warm under his long fingers; Barry could never fully wrap his head around the fact that it wasn’t any kind of fabric but pure energy itself. </span>
  
  <span>The lack of painful groan or moan from Hal encouraged Barry to softly massage his shoulders and neck over the suit. Hal’s eyes fluttered closed tiredly and he leaned back against Barry’s chest. The blond man placed his chin on top of Hal’s soft brown hair and watched their world through the fused silica glass window of Watchtower. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>How normal everything looked from the space. How unimportant their lives were in the grand canvas of the universe. While running around Central City or working at the lab, Barry felt like the entire universe was revolving around their lives and problems. Joker blowing up a theatre, Captain Cold holding hostages... even Reverse Flash’s madness, which became Barry’s biggest nightmare and constant worry, felt so... small. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Standing here, watching Earth through the glass, everything felt so small. All their worries, pains, fears felt small and silly. Down there, people were running to catch their buses, parents cooking dinner for their families, kids studying, villains planning... None of them felt real when he was standing so far away from home. The harsh reality of what happened just a couple of hours ago couldn’t reach them here. Not yet. But the moment he used Zeta Tube and went back to Central City, smelling the Jitters’ freshly roasted coffee and the cheap yet mouthwatering Big Belly Burger, the truth would come crashing down on him. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hal’s white-gloved right hand reached up and caressed Barry’s, who was softly but unconsciously massaging him. Scarlet Speedster pulled away to look down at his partner. Hal threw his head back to meet Barry’s eyes. His domino mask was gone and Barry felt warmth spread in his chest when his eyes met with Hal’s warm brown ones. Barry forced a smile.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you feel better?” Hal’s smile was softer than usual. Leaguers were all so used to see Hal’s confident, even arrogant, smirk alongside with sarcastic remarks. But this soft smile, it was reserved for Barry when they are alone under the covers of Barry’s bed, his significant other looking like a Greek statue under the moonlight. Barry would place his hand against Hal’s chest, feeling skin and bones and heartbeat under his palm. Human. So fragile, so delicate. So precious.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Barry would leave his hand on Hal’s chest for the rest of the night. In the middle of the night, when his mind was filled with all kinds of bizarre dreams, his hand would still lay on Hal’s chest, seeking his warmth. To feel his heartbeat under his palm to make sure he was still alive and well next to him.</span>
  
  <span>Because when Hal wasn’t on Earth, Barry’s hand would reach to his left, touching cold sheet like a reminder of the risks they were both taking. The haunting possibility of Hal’s permanent disappearance from his life. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Barry’s hand on Hal’s shoulder tightened unconsciously. Today only made it more clear for both of them.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure. I am not that fragile, you know?” Hal winked at him. Barry’s answer was a raised eyebrow. Hal smirked apologetically. “Not when I am wearing this suit, at least.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Barry sighed softly and let go of Hal’s shoulders. Hal slightly turned to his right as Barry sat down next to him. His eyes traced every part of Barry’s body with a frown on his face.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about you? Bruce told me that monster landed a pretty heavy hit on you.” Barry pushed back his cowl and ran a hand through his messy blond hair. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, I am fine. You know, accelerated healing.” Hal’s eyes softened as his hand reached forward, gently wrapping his fingers around the blond man’s chin to tilt his head. His warm brown eyes traced Red’s face with sympathy. Since the first day they met, Hal knew Barry was the perfect person to become a hero. The blond often doubted himself but that was one of the reasons why Barry was the best among them. He stopped to question his own morals, his own motivations. His never-ending compassion, his gentle soul, his genuine care for every being on this planet, his bravery, his kindness... Barry Allen was truly a source of hope. And it often worried Hal even though he never shared this worry with Barry himself. Barry was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> kind, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>gentle,</span>
  <em>
    <span> so </span>
  </em>
  <span>sweet. This line of work wasn’t for the soft-hearted. Yet, Barry Allen was also one of the strongest and bravest people he’s ever met. His strength didn’t stop this </span>
  <span>world</span>
  <span> from hurting him, unfortunately. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t look fine to me.” He muttered softly, his thumb caressing the soft skin of Barry’s chin. They were all hurting but it was different for all of them. Bruce mourned quietly, hiding under the cowl and battling tirelessly to the point where he was dancing with the death.  B</span>
  <span>ut Bruce always had the upper hand, even against his own grief and guilt. Diana was the sensible one. She was a warrior and she wasn’t trained to be emotional support or anything but her presence was enough to ignite that fire inside them, to get them on their feet, hold them together and lead. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hal didn’t exactly bury his grief deep inside until it consumed him and filled him with a newfound fire to fight as Bruce did. Bat was good at using his pain in a useful way to become a better hero. Hal... Hal had numbness. It reminded him of his father’s death. How Hal stopped feeling anything, how he watched his mother and brothers struggle and cry blanky. Like the world just ended and there was nothing left: no worries, no emotions, no pain, no joy, no hope. It wasn’t until his fingers traced the cold metal of Ferris’ new aircraft that he started to feel again. His chest tightened; his heart started beating faster. He could almost feel his father standing behind him with a grin on his face.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you like it?</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yes, he did. That’s when he knew what he wanted. And he felt joy and excitement again. No matter how much he loved his family, he would never allow anyone to take this away from him again. And then... then he met Barry and he felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>hope </span>
  </em>
  <span>again. He wouldn’t let anyone take this away from him either. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hal wasn’t there when Barry’s mother died and his father was sent to jail. Blond was only 10 years old. They wouldn’t meet for another 15 years. Barry didn’t talk about it often but Hal knew how much finding his mother’s dead body and seeing his father taken away by the cops affected him. But Hal was there when Barry found out the truth about his mother’s murderer and how it broke him, knowing Eobard Thawne was there that night to kill him. But he couldn’t. Because Eobard needed Barry. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sick joke of fate; their destinies tied together, like vines, forever. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Barry mourned every single death around them. His heart never hardened like most would expect in this line of work. And when Barry mourned, it was silent. You could see it on his face, those blue eyes were filled with pain and grief. But he wouldn’t talk. He would distance himself from others. Barry had a terrible habit of believing he had to face his demons alone. That’s why Hal was livid when he found Barry sitting on a building alone with shaky hands, red eyes, and the most heartbreaking expression Hal’s ever seen. After facing Thawne alone. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hal promised himself he would never allow Barry to face his demons alone. Ever again.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am still...” Barry’s hand reached up and grabbed Hal’s wrist as he was searching for his warmth, his support. “I still struggle to believe. To comprehend.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hal felt the same way. It felt strange, unnatural. Almost like a badly written fiction. But their lives were far stranger than any fiction. When Barry’s hand tightened around his wrist, Hal looked into those blue eyes, filled with unshed tears.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hal... Clark is...” Hal knew Barry long enough to understand the speedster was about to have another panic attack. His hand dropped from Barry’s shoulder and with both hands, he pulled the Scarlet Speedster into his arms, pressing the blond against his chest.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” He mumbled softly. There was no sugar-coating </span>
  <span>it.</span>
  <span> The world changed drastically in the last hour and tomorrow would be a completely different day without Superman.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I still can’t believe it.” Barry shook his head, his forehead rubbing against Hal’s chest, right on his GL symbol. “A world without Superman...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hal knew what Barry was talking about. If it was ten or twenty years ago, everything would be different. But times changed. And nowadays Earth was the ground zero of many intergalactic wars.</span>
  <span> How could this world survive without Superman protecting it? Guiding them with courage and kindness? But he also knew that Clark didn’t think twice before throwing himself at danger and death because he knew he was leaving behind friends who would do everything in their power to protect this planet. That’s why Justice League was so important to every single one of them. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled back to look down at Barry. His hands cupping the </span>
  <span>blond's</span>
  <span> face with gentleness. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We are still here, babe. We will protect the world. For Clark.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But we failed. Against Doomsday.” His blue eyes were wide with worry and something else. Hal knew and shared Barry’s guilt in this aspect. He knew they were both thinking the same thing; </span>
  <em>
    <span>only if I was more careful, only if I did more, maybe I could weaken Doomsday enough for Clark to beat him without sacrificing himself. </span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But this way of thinking was not helpful to any of them. He knew other Leaguers shared this thought as well. Especially Bruce. But there was no time for sorrow. Not for them. They were the Justice League; they had no such thing as time to mourn. </span>
  <span>Even if the world was about to end. If Doomsday proved one thing, it was that there was something terribly evil out there, waiting to weaken them. And if something was coming, if darkness would descend upon this world, it was their job to protect the Earth. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Until their last breath. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just like Clark did.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We were going up against him one by one back then. But together,” Hal grasped Barry’s hand and laced their fingers together, “there is nothing that can stop us.”</span>
  
  <span>Hal leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Barry’s. “I told you, Justice League, or not, we are a team.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Barry closed his eyes and leaned against Hal, their lips inches away.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” he whispered against Hal’s lips, “even if we need to fight tomorrow, we still have today.”</span>
  <em>
    <span> To mourn. To love</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “You and me.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You and me.” Hal repeated before slightly tilting Barry’s head to press his lips against the Scarlet Speedster’s. </span>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm lanthimo on tumblr constantly crying about comics and Halbarry</p></blockquote></div></div>
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